When I first went on Omegle.com, I was filled with wonder and curiosity about random people I would come across on the internet. Where would they be from? What would they be like? Maybe I’d meet someone new and maybe someone else interested in web design.
Let’s face it: I was just bored of my brains and curious as hell – which, let me tell you – is an awful combination.
The first person I talked to was “some guy” with terrible grammar. One of my pet peeves. Cringe. I could hardly stand talking to him because of that. My eyes were bleeding out of their sockets. The guy became boring to talk to, so I left and connected with a new person.
(My younger brother used to think the word “connected” was the dirtiest word. He must have been horny as hell, even at 13 or whatever his age was back then… because “to connect” apparently meant to “have sex”.)
After being bored time and time again, I came across someone who claimed to be male and horny. I let him type whatever he wanted, and I felt dirty afterwards. I swear to Cow, every time I watch something sexual, do something a little dirty, read something related to intercourse or am just in any kind of position (excuse the pun, please) like that… I feel really dirty and gross afterwards.
The way the guy did it was vulgar. The words he said – the likes of “tittyfuck” and “anal” made me extremely uncomfortable. But, as my curiosity took over big time, I just sat there reading the words on the screen.
I’m a visual person. It didn’t help at all. The experience was a little scarring, and visualising it tore a vivid memory into my brain.
Jeremy and I haven’t always been comfortable talking about sex. I mean, we’re the same age, we see each other almost every day at university, and we talk online nearly every day. Since we became closer I guess it just became a part of conversation several times. It’s awkward though, let me tell you, because I have Wil, and we’ve done a few “naughty things”.
I’ve discussed sex with my best friend Bethany (I’ll talk about her more in later posts…) but it’s not a regular topic of discussion.
Now I come to a little confession…
Bored out of my brains + curious as hell = awful combination, right?
That, again, got me in a sticky situation. Through instant messaging, I tried to make Jeremy “shut up”. He’s got a habit of teasing me.
“Can I make you shut up?” I asked.
He gave me his permission and using the action features I typed “Audrey grabs Jeremy and kisses him”.
You can guess. It went on. It was intense, and we were writing a little story right then and there. It just… happened. Kisses on the neck, touching one another’s backs… kind of like imagining sex for the first time. Not vulgar and disgusting, but beautiful and sweet. Out of the action-text, he even asked me how I’d like it (he remembers I hate the idea of blowjobs, wow?)… where I wanted to be touched…
I remember Jeremy saying the next day, “We… umm… made e-love…”
A lovely way of putting it. Maybe I’d consider that the day I lost my e-virginity… What came out of this, really, is that I know I can trust someone on a level of friendship to talk on a level like this. I don’t know if that’s a gift or a catalyst for anarchy… but I don’t think it’s the latter.
4 Comments on “e-love”
haha, Jeremy sounds like a good guy. I know you’re not with him, but the whole scene just sounds so.. cute. Which is a little odd considering it was an e-love scene, haha.
I used to go on Whyville, where you could chat with other people. I was, 12 or 13 maybe.. and when no one was around at home, I’d sometimes *dirty talk* with the actions like you did, with random people on the site. Since it was a site for kids, I remember I got duct tape put over my virtual mouth and I wasn’t allowed to chat to anyone for five days… haha
I don’t remember feeling dirty, but looking back on it now.. I don’t see why the hell I did that. Curiosity, maybe.. I’m not sure though.
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Jacqueline Reply:
July 11th, 2010 at 10:32 pm
hahaha I once joined that one virtual reality world, I forget what it’s called. It was Second Life I think. Anyway I went around to the sex islands & had sex with random people, virtually. I just wanted to see what was going on & it was so weird. I kind of felt like a perv.
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Thank you for sharing this, Audrey. I have gone through something like this before except I wasn’t tied down by a boyfriend at the time. I was hooking up with someone who was extremely insecure, but this other guy whom I had class with would always tell me how much he wanted me/liked me/etc. It was nice to feel so wanted, but I always felt so guilty even though I wasn’t with another guy.
I’ve never officially had cybersex with someone before, but I’ve never had “e-love” either.
It’s best that you & Jeremy not discuss sex with each other anyway since WIL is your boyfriend! But anyway, Jeremy is walking on thin ice & if I were Wil, I’d punch him in the face for being a homewrecker. I’m sure he’s a great guy, but I’m Team Wil!
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Audrey, this actually makes me really want to try “e-love”! I don’t know why. O.o I bet Adam would do it with me…
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