Strange as it may seem considering we’ve been together quite a long time, today was the first time I saw Wil with no clothes on. And vice versa.
The whole experience was pretty awkward, and we were saying the most awkward things. We’ve felt aroused around each other sometimes – but in completely the wrong place.
You’re reading about the couple who would put their hands in each other’s pockets at the back of the classroom in English class in high school whilst we were watching a video. The couple who would lie on top of each other in the quiet park down the road, and then almost being caught by some perverted jerk-off who obviously had nothing better to do but watch and simply assume that the young couple were having intercourse.
The couple who would tease each other online with sexual innuendos and the like.
The couple who wouldn’t ever feel that way in each other’s presence – no, rarely.
Wil and I rarely get time alone, and today we did. Even though we were kissing each other passionately as we pressed our bodies against each other before we were unclothed, it was awkward. We talked and wondered what we should do, for both of us were curious but not quite ready to fire into anything.
What meant the most to me was that upon discussing oral sex, Wil held me close and said, “Please. Don’t do this unless you really want to. I don’t want it to end up in your mouth, and I really don’t want you to do anything you’re going to regret later on or anything you don’t even want to do.”
It kind of shot back a strange memory of Jeremy – shit, Jeremy, shit really. I remembered one occasion where Jeremy wanted to discuss sex on a certain level, but before continuing, he said, “You’re the girl. And because you’re the girl, it’s up to you. It’s always up to the girl.”
My respect meter for him just fucking exploded. And my respect meter for Wil? It went way past 100% too, but the contents bubbled and cracked the casing as it overflowed. What he said was so sweet.
I decided to try performing oral sex on Wil. Big step. Something we’d talked about, as a possibility, quite some time ago. My curiosity got the better of me after he left me in throes of ecstasy by rubbing me down there…
We were mucking around so it didn’t go very far – for one thing we were laughing over a condom. I’d never seen one before today, and neither had he. I think we were just being really immature about it. After I started on him, we just couldn’t stop laughing.
I kind of thought that one day soon we’d go pretty far – if this isn’t “far” already – but I don’t know. Sometimes I like the bliss of just kissing, holding, just the presence of one another. I wouldn’t do anything if I wasn’t ready. And I love Wil, because he respects that.
