Strange as it may seem considering we’ve been together quite a long time, today was the first time I saw Wil with no clothes on. And vice versa.
The whole experience was pretty awkward, and we were saying the most awkward things. We’ve felt aroused around each other sometimes – but in completely the wrong place.
You’re reading about the couple who would put their hands in each other’s pockets at the back of the classroom in English class in high school whilst we were watching a video. The couple who would lie on top of each other in the quiet park down the road, and then almost being caught by some perverted jerk-off who obviously had nothing better to do but watch and simply assume that the young couple were having intercourse.
The couple who would tease each other online with sexual innuendos and the like.
The couple who wouldn’t ever feel that way in each other’s presence – no, rarely.
Wil and I rarely get time alone, and today we did. Even though we were kissing each other passionately as we pressed our bodies against each other before we were unclothed, it was awkward. We talked and wondered what we should do, for both of us were curious but not quite ready to fire into anything.
What meant the most to me was that upon discussing oral sex, Wil held me close and said, “Please. Don’t do this unless you really want to. I don’t want it to end up in your mouth, and I really don’t want you to do anything you’re going to regret later on or anything you don’t even want to do.”
It kind of shot back a strange memory of Jeremy – shit, Jeremy, shit really. I remembered one occasion where Jeremy wanted to discuss sex on a certain level, but before continuing, he said, “You’re the girl. And because you’re the girl, it’s up to you. It’s always up to the girl.”
My respect meter for him just fucking exploded. And my respect meter for Wil? It went way past 100% too, but the contents bubbled and cracked the casing as it overflowed. What he said was so sweet.
I decided to try performing oral sex on Wil. Big step. Something we’d talked about, as a possibility, quite some time ago. My curiosity got the better of me after he left me in throes of ecstasy by rubbing me down there…
We were mucking around so it didn’t go very far – for one thing we were laughing over a condom. I’d never seen one before today, and neither had he. I think we were just being really immature about it. After I started on him, we just couldn’t stop laughing.
I kind of thought that one day soon we’d go pretty far – if this isn’t “far” already – but I don’t know. Sometimes I like the bliss of just kissing, holding, just the presence of one another. I wouldn’t do anything if I wasn’t ready. And I love Wil, because he respects that.
2 Comments on “One step”
YAY I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. Especially since this act is pretty selfless & it is a huge step in your relationship, intimately & emotionally. I know it gets a bad rep, but the act itself is selfless unless you’re doing 69..then it’s just a win-win.
But seriously girl, I’m so proud of you. Even if it was awkward, you’re trying something new & better yet, your boyfriend is so amazingly sweet about it that he doesn’t even demand it from you. That is admirable & if I were you, I would’ve just made him sex me right then & there!
You’re one lucky girl & so is he. But believe me, the more comfortable you guys are about being intimate, the less awkward it will be. At least you guys laughed it off & weren’t like sitting there in silence..that’s the worst. Anyway, again, totally proud of you for actually going out of your comfort zone & trying something new.
Adventurous you! I remember when you told me that you didn’t really want to perform oral sex, but you would be willing to try to see whether or not you liked it or not. Glad some girls changed your opinion about it.
If anyone is reading this, I do not condone being a whore. I’m just extremely proud of Audrey for actually finding the courage & willingness to do something for her boyfriend that she hasn’t up until this point, felt she would ever do. Especially because it probably has brought her boyfriend & her closer together on a whole different level.
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GO AUDREY! I’m pretty sure you know my stance on oral (ew) but it must have been a big step in your relationship, and I find it cute (never thought oral sex would be considered cute) that you guys were so nervous about it.
Derek would never say something like that, he’s more for the approach that if he keeps asking for it, I’ll eventually give in. He actually LIKES that my friends try to convince me to do it, but it’s something I just never want to do, and I’m not going to change my opinion of something just because my friend’s say something different, or do something I don’t want to do just for a guy. But that’s a little off topic from your post
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