I just had… mind blowing sex. Like.. really, really, reeeeaaaally good sex. I literally couldn’t feel my teeth after (is that weird?) and my fingers were all tingly, and I just felt.. drunk. And reeeeeally good. I couldn’t see straight, and I could barely sit up without my head just.. spinning. I think it was a mix of the intensity of pleasure, pain from doing it twice and a bit of the closeness factor.
I don’t give blowjobs. I find the thought of it gross and it’s never EVER something that I have ever wanted to do, nor feel the need to do. Tonight though? I actually felt like doing it. 99% chance, if Derek and I were dating.. I would have done it. And as the girls know, that is a HUGE thing for me to say. I wasn’t going to tell Derek that, because I figured.. it’s kind of like a tease, y’know? ‘Oh, so I was gonna do this.. but then I didn’t ’cause we’re not dating.’ I did tell him in the end, because he wanted me too.. and boy, he wasn’t pleased. I don’t know what about that moment it was, considering I’ve had the same tingly feeling before, but something about it just made me feel like I would do it. But, if it’s such a big deal for me to do even with a boyfriend, I’m not going to do it for someone whose not my boyfriend. Because it is a BIG deal for me.
This is going to sound.. totally, cliche and weird and stupid.. but I shed a SINGLE tear after. Now, I can’t say if it was from the fact that I was insanely happy after, if it was because it felt so good to be close to him again when I had missed it/him so much, or just simply because I know that continuing to do this is going to hurt me in the end and I feel so stupid and pathetic for continuing to hold onto the relationship that doesn’t even exist purely with sex, but I cried one tear. He didn’t notice, and I don’t even think he noticed my shaky voice (though that could have been seen as just part of my weird feelings after) but it was there.
This, in short.. was the sex I’ve been wanting for MONTHS. Where I felt so close to him, and just so good at the same time. Lately, most of our sex is in a cramped truck cab or a tiny back seat of a car, but it was in his Blazer with the seats pushed down and lots of room so it wasn’t so cramped. We got to just chill out and be naked after, and not worry about people seeing us because of the fail windows in his truck. I think the only way the sex would have been more perfect would have been if it was actually a relationship, and not some weird friends with benefits thing that may or may not be a good idea.
But holy mother, it was GOOD sex.
2 Comments on “Really Good Sex”
HAHA Audrey, yeah I like to smack my bitches ’round. They gotta know their place. Just kidding!
Mind blowing sex….mmmmmm. I’ve experienced this myself, although that not feeling your teeth thing is REALLY weird. Just kidding, I’ve yet to experience that, but I have gotten up & not been able to stand on my own two feet before. That’s the best kind of sex, the kind of sex that makes you feel like you’re on some sort of drug & you don’t want him to ever stop.
I don’t think I’ve cried after sex before, but I almost did once. However, I have cried after making out with a guy I was ending things with. That totally sucked & it was really embarrassing.
I wanted to mention that when you get super turned on at some odd point, you feel compelled to pleasure your man via oral. That’s exactly what happened to me when I first tried it. I don’t know what came over me since I was just as anti-oral as you are so I don’t know. Sometimes you feel that your man deserves it & you’re so turned on by him that you just want him to feel the same way. Oh well, sucks for Derek. If he treated you with respect, maybe he would’ve gotten some.
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Sigh, girl. I don’t know what to say. Jackie slapped you big time in your last post – but reading this, I feel happy for you. I really do. I feel happy that you could be satisfied like that.
I just honestly hope you won’t go in with the bitter regret later on. I’m a virgin alright, but even making out with someone is pretty invigorating and… that might be why I kept kissing Jeremy when he kissed me.
Bad idea… I know.
I know that there may never be a relationship between you and Derek again, but that’s something to think about. What is the definition of “friends with benefits”? Somewhere I read that you can be friends during the day, and lovers at night, then wake up with “no strings attached”.
In high school, my guy friends used to joke about the term “fuckbuddies”. O_o
Do what makes you happy, girl. I don’t excuse your behaviour, but I’m just worried about ye. I don’t want you feeling torn up over this. <3
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