It’s been quite some time since the last Girl Code. Without further ado, here’s the second rule of the unwritten girl code written.

Honesty is the Best Policy

You know that you don’t want to be lied to, so why lie to your girls? Treat your friends with respect & the way you’d like to be treated. I once stumbled upon a Facebook group that proclaimed it had all of the rules to the “Girl Code”. Too bad it was a bunch of bullshit including lying to your friend about not liking her boyfriend. Why the hell would you do such a thing?

Look, if your girlfriend is with a guy who treats her like a dog & doesn’t respect her, tell her your honest opinion of him when she asks you for it. If you’re concerned that he abuses her, talk to her about it. If she doesn’t want to talk about it with you, but later down the line she gets hospitalized, it’s time to call the authorities. I think it’s safe to say that you’d rather see your friend well & alive & hate you for right now than to see her dead & regret you didn’t try to protect her.

Example 1

When you just realized that you have plans to go see this guy on the same day you’re supposed to have a movie night with your girls, what do you do?

a) Call the cutie up & tell him that you forgot you had prior plans, but would love to reschedule.
b) Call your girls up & tell them that you accidentally agreed to go out on a date with a cute guy the same day you girls planned to see a movie involving James Franco, Christian Bale, Hayden Christiansen, David Beckham, or George Clooney sans shirt.
c) Cancel on your girls & tell them that you’re sick.
d) Cancel on the cutie & tell him that you’re sick.
e) Flip a coin.

Your answers better be A &/or B. You shouldn’t lie to either party about your own mistake. Figure it out & if the cutie doesn’t understand that your friends are important to you, then he’s probably not the right choice anyway. Next!

Example 2

Your best friend is dating a total asshole who needs to get socked in the face multiple times until his jaw is fractured. You witness him putting down your friend while all of you are on a double date. The next day, she calls you to see what you thought of the date, what do you say?

a) “OMG IT WAS THE BEST DOUBLE DATE I’VE EVER BEEN ON IN MY LIFE!!!!!!”
b) “Honey, to be completely honest, I didn’t appreciate seeing your boyfriend put you down like that & I think you deserve better. I would’ve had more fun if he wasn’t there.”
c) “Your boyfriend is gorgeous, I hope the two of you end up making babies one day! I had so much fun!!”
d) “LOL R U SRS? HE’S SUCH A D-BAG, HOW CAN U D8 HIM?”
e) “The two of you bicker like an old married couple! Other than that, it was totally fun. Let’s do it again soon!”

The correct answer is B. In the first sentence, I stated that this guy is bad news for your friend. Don’t let this opportunity slip away or else you’ll be the bitch who lectures her friends out of nowhere. If you’re concerned about your friend’s happiness & mentality, don’t be silent about your opinion on a guy who clearly is not well suited for her. Let her know your concerns because you know her better than he does. Be honest with her, always. You know that you’d appreciate her point of view if you dated a manipulating son of a bitch & you just didn’t see it. Help her see what you see so that she may help you see what she sees.

Example 3

You saw your best friend’s boyfriend holding hands with another girl outside of a restaurant. You’re shocked to your core, but give him the benefit of the doubt–perhaps she’s his sister or cousin you don’t know about? What do you do?

a) Assess the situation by doing some field work. Do your proper research of whether or not this guy is playing your girl or if the girl you saw was just a relative. If it is an affair, present it to your girl when the time is right.
b) Ignore it. Not your guy, not your problem, & not your business.
c) Ask your friend if the two of them had any plans on that day you saw him. If she says no, ask her why not. If she says he canceled on her, ask her the reason why. If she can’t give you a “legit” reason, stalk his Facebook to find a picture of the girl you saw, & ask her if she knows who she is. If she doesn’t, tell her what you saw.
d) Text your friend’s guy & tell him that you spotted him on the day of the sighting. Ask him very nonchalantly what he was doing there & mention that it’s one of your favorite restaurants. Engage in small talk. See if you can get an answer from him.
e) All of the above except for B.

Did you pick B? Congratulations, you’re a shitty friend. If you were in her shoes, wouldn’t you want her to tell you if she’s seen your man cheating on you? Ignorance is not bliss in this case. What if the mistress of his is carrying a sexually transmitted infection or disease? Then your friend could get it too & you would be partly responsible for not warning her ahead of time. The correct answer is E. Doing nothing about something you see is equivalently as terrible as betraying her trust. If he really is cheating on your friend, you need to make sure you have all of the facts & warn her. Don’t do it the way Snooki & Jwoww did it on Jersey Shore via an anonymous letter, do it face-to-face, heart-to-heart. Honesty is the best policy.

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The other day I went to Wil’s house. We discovered that it was actually quite nice to hug naked. It felt really warm and comfortable and we were just lying down on the rug in his lounge room.

Prior to that, we didn’t have that weird awkwardness last time when he came to my place. Last time it was very weird and we were even wondering how to take our clothes off… and we spent quite some time asking each other what exactly we wanted to do.

Every time Wil stimulates me by touching my clitoris (which I really enjoy, for the record!) I feel like I orgasm differently compared to when I masturbate. It feels more intense, and though it doesn’t really feel like I climax, it feels a lot better, and a lot more exciting. I really like just lying on top of him as he does it. He did tell me that he enjoys doing it to me too. No input on how he feels about me completely breathing on his face, but I love just brushing my lips against his – no actual kissing, but the feeling is so… so sensual.

After that we tried “69″. Eh, well it didn’t go too well, but we actually spent some time looking at each other’s reproductive organs and I guess “teaching” each other all the parts. It amused Wil when he “probed” (well that was how he put it) his finger in and out of me, until I told him to stop because it started tickling so bad and I felt like I was going to pee myself all over his rug.

“69″ was… a little too difficult. We were amused that we tasted the same, though, albeit saltier than we’d even expected. Damn.

We didn’t go much further but we took a shower together after all that. I am really happy that we can be so comfortable with each other when it comes to sexual things. However, I know that despite all this experimenting, sex is still far off – I definitely don’t feel like I’m ready for it, and the possibility of getting pregnant and even the idea of getting pregnant terrifies me. I got my period today and my cramps were absolutely intolerable. From here, it probably won’t go further for some time to come.

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You know how everyone talks about how guys are so much better in college/uni than in high school? How you’ll find a guy once you go off to college? Okay, well maybe not everyone says that, but I have heard it a lot, both on TV and in real life.

I’ve been a university student for five weeks now, and I have to say it’s all talk. Really, it is.

My school isn’t small. There are over 40 thousand students at my school, almost 30 thousand of which are undergraduates, like me. I trek all across campus to go to my classes and to work, and I see new people every day. In my entire five weeks here, I have yet to see even one drool-worthy guy. Not one.

Sure, there are plenty of not unattractive guys. Hell, there are plenty of attractive guys. I just haven’t run into a single one that made me think, “I WANT.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one to date solely on looks. One look at two of my past boyfriends will tell you that much. But is a little eye candy too much to ask while I’m still enjoying the single life?

And on that note, Audrey, I’d say the single life is definitely overrated if you’re in a candy-less situation like mine.

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Looking back on the past, is, undeniably – a bitch. I hate doing it, but at the same time I have this creepy love for it. I love looking back on all the stuff that happened. When it comes to love, it’s no exception. I compare my current situation with situations in the past, look at how I fell in love with people. Why I fell in love. Why I never cherished being single and didn’t enjoy the time I had being single.

I actually regret it a little now. It’s almost like flirting was a sin.

LSS (Long Story Short): I kissed a guy called Mark. He followed me around, started following me partially the way home. I know that living near me was no excuse! He did not have to follow me around and try to talk to me and put his arm around me.

He was trying to console me about Cor. I dated Cor for about ten months on and off. Cor was younger but fairly mature – even though the more I got to find out about him, the more we fell apart and I realised he wasn’t willing to make sacrifices for me, and wasn’t willing to patch up differences or accept the fact that we had differences.

I was really upset about Cor so I guess I really appreciated Mark trying to make me feel better. Mark was a distant classmate of Cor’s – ergo, younger too.

After he followed me numerous times he tried to make me feel better when I was exceptionally upset. He held my hands and hugged me and then and there at the corner of my street he asked if I wanted to go out with him.

I was surprised.

My response was to kiss him.

I don’t know why I did it. But I thought, what the heck. Why not. Why not just jump in and make moves on guys and flirt with them… okay, those weren’t my exact thoughts. But running through my mind was the reality that Cor and I were over. I had to get over it. I felt like going out with Mark might be a good ol’ change.

Come on, I was fifteen. And the devil can stab me… well, in the form of my mother, who was screaming at me from our house further down the street. It fucking killed me; the way she hit me, screamed at me, told Mark I wasn’t home the next day when he popped by… told me to stay away from him, threatened to send me to another school…

The previous truth was: I hated Mark.

It’s not that we got off on a bad foot, or he said something nasty – it was just rumours I chose to believe – that he was a jerk, arrogant, loserish, and any kind of “fail” there possibly was. But, in reference to Jackie’s last post and the comment I made – I saw past that. You know, I love Wil right now for who he is, and his soul. I look past the way people look, the things I hear, and I see them as a different person.

Wil even told me that I saw past Jeremy, because his truth is that he thinks Jeremy is an ass. Bethany told me the same about myself. She said I am so different from her in that I give people a chance and I don’t judge them before knowing them properly, I look past the way they look and what I know distantly.

I saw the good side of Mark.

And curse my mother, for doing something so humiliating and prying thoughts into my mind, that inevitably made me realise that enjoying the single life was not worth it.

I regret that.

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All of my life, I have categorized myself under the sexual preference of “straight”. That was until I actually took a course in Human Sexuality a while back & I’ve opened up my mind & realized that I am more than that & so are most people.

I’m not saying that people one day wake up & choose to be a homosexual, I don’t believe that is a choice, but I’m saying that I do not love someone simply because they have a male part that fits into my vagina. I don’t love my boyfriend on the basis that he has a penis & I know that Audrey doesn’t love her boyfriend on the basis that he is a man either.

We love our significant others for their personalities, their actions, the way they make us feel when we’re around them, the comfort they bring us, the love they share with us, & the willingness, sacrifice, & compromise they endure with us.

I’m not going to label myself as a bisexual or a lesbian or a confused straight woman, I don’t want to label myself at all. I just know that I love Justin for Justin, not because his genitalia & mine fit together like puzzle pieces & it feels AWESOME (although that is a huge plus). I don’t love Justin because he’s the opposite gender, I love him for his personality; his “soul” if you will.

I’ve never been attracted to a girl in the way that I could see myself with them sexually (other than ridiculously gorgeous celebrities), but that’s because I’ve yet to find a girl with as beautiful of a soul as Justin’s. Sure Justin is kind of a mischievous 20 something year old most of the time, but he’s logical, rational, practical, incredibly intelligent, doesn’t say “like” every other word, & drama free. Pretty difficult to find those attributes in a girl, but regardless, Justin is who he is which is why I am in love with him.

You could probably say that we are attracted to a certain “gender” because that “gender” shapes their personality in some shape or form which is why we tend to date those that we are “supposed to”, but down to the nitty-gritty, I am attracted to my boyfriend for him. If he was born a she & still had his same personality, I’d still probably fall in love with “her”. Of course, I’d consider “her” as my best friend first, but there’s a certain chemistry we have between the two of us that is undeniable, unshakable, & hell, I’m pretty sure “she’d” be really hot as a girl.

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