It’s been quite some time since the last Girl Code. Without further ado, here’s the second rule of the unwritten girl code written.
Honesty is the Best Policy
You know that you don’t want to be lied to, so why lie to your girls? Treat your friends with respect & the way you’d like to be treated. I once stumbled upon a Facebook group that proclaimed it had all of the rules to the “Girl Code”. Too bad it was a bunch of bullshit including lying to your friend about not liking her boyfriend. Why the hell would you do such a thing?
Look, if your girlfriend is with a guy who treats her like a dog & doesn’t respect her, tell her your honest opinion of him when she asks you for it. If you’re concerned that he abuses her, talk to her about it. If she doesn’t want to talk about it with you, but later down the line she gets hospitalized, it’s time to call the authorities. I think it’s safe to say that you’d rather see your friend well & alive & hate you for right now than to see her dead & regret you didn’t try to protect her.
Example 1
When you just realized that you have plans to go see this guy on the same day you’re supposed to have a movie night with your girls, what do you do?
a) Call the cutie up & tell him that you forgot you had prior plans, but would love to reschedule.
b) Call your girls up & tell them that you accidentally agreed to go out on a date with a cute guy the same day you girls planned to see a movie involving James Franco, Christian Bale, Hayden Christiansen, David Beckham, or George Clooney sans shirt.
c) Cancel on your girls & tell them that you’re sick.
d) Cancel on the cutie & tell him that you’re sick.
e) Flip a coin.
Your answers better be A &/or B. You shouldn’t lie to either party about your own mistake. Figure it out & if the cutie doesn’t understand that your friends are important to you, then he’s probably not the right choice anyway. Next!
Example 2
Your best friend is dating a total asshole who needs to get socked in the face multiple times until his jaw is fractured. You witness him putting down your friend while all of you are on a double date. The next day, she calls you to see what you thought of the date, what do you say?
a) “OMG IT WAS THE BEST DOUBLE DATE I’VE EVER BEEN ON IN MY LIFE!!!!!!”
b) “Honey, to be completely honest, I didn’t appreciate seeing your boyfriend put you down like that & I think you deserve better. I would’ve had more fun if he wasn’t there.”
c) “Your boyfriend is gorgeous, I hope the two of you end up making babies one day! I had so much fun!!”
d) “LOL R U SRS? HE’S SUCH A D-BAG, HOW CAN U D8 HIM?”
e) “The two of you bicker like an old married couple! Other than that, it was totally fun. Let’s do it again soon!”
The correct answer is B. In the first sentence, I stated that this guy is bad news for your friend. Don’t let this opportunity slip away or else you’ll be the bitch who lectures her friends out of nowhere. If you’re concerned about your friend’s happiness & mentality, don’t be silent about your opinion on a guy who clearly is not well suited for her. Let her know your concerns because you know her better than he does. Be honest with her, always. You know that you’d appreciate her point of view if you dated a manipulating son of a bitch & you just didn’t see it. Help her see what you see so that she may help you see what she sees.
Example 3
You saw your best friend’s boyfriend holding hands with another girl outside of a restaurant. You’re shocked to your core, but give him the benefit of the doubt–perhaps she’s his sister or cousin you don’t know about? What do you do?
a) Assess the situation by doing some field work. Do your proper research of whether or not this guy is playing your girl or if the girl you saw was just a relative. If it is an affair, present it to your girl when the time is right.
b) Ignore it. Not your guy, not your problem, & not your business.
c) Ask your friend if the two of them had any plans on that day you saw him. If she says no, ask her why not. If she says he canceled on her, ask her the reason why. If she can’t give you a “legit” reason, stalk his Facebook to find a picture of the girl you saw, & ask her if she knows who she is. If she doesn’t, tell her what you saw.
d) Text your friend’s guy & tell him that you spotted him on the day of the sighting. Ask him very nonchalantly what he was doing there & mention that it’s one of your favorite restaurants. Engage in small talk. See if you can get an answer from him.
e) All of the above except for B.
Did you pick B? Congratulations, you’re a shitty friend. If you were in her shoes, wouldn’t you want her to tell you if she’s seen your man cheating on you? Ignorance is not bliss in this case. What if the mistress of his is carrying a sexually transmitted infection or disease? Then your friend could get it too & you would be partly responsible for not warning her ahead of time. The correct answer is E. Doing nothing about something you see is equivalently as terrible as betraying her trust. If he really is cheating on your friend, you need to make sure you have all of the facts & warn her. Don’t do it the way Snooki & Jwoww did it on Jersey Shore via an anonymous letter, do it face-to-face, heart-to-heart. Honesty is the best policy.
