Jeremy and I had a fight yesterday. Ugh. I filled Lana in on this. I met him in the mornings like I usually do. I didn’t take my laptop because I wanted less strain on my back and I figured I wouldn’t need my laptop much during the day anyway, due to other plans and not really needing it in class (it’s funny that my mum suspected me of not going to class because I didn’t bring my laptop, heh).
I hopped on the computer when I got to university. I mean, after chatting with Jeremy a bit, and reading his Scott Pilgrim comic. When Leroy came, I said, “Hey, Leroy’s here.”
“I know,” he said, a bit bluntly. I didn’t suspect anything was up. After I checked my email and websites before class started, I also talked to Leroy, but Jeremy was engrossed in watching something on his iPhone with his earphones in. When I came across a video on the computer of a cute cat and bird walking together, I thought he might like it. I got Leroy to tap him on the shoulder.
Jeremy took out his earphones, looked up, sort of scoffed, and then just went back to what he was doing. I scoffed back and said that he didn’t even give the video a chance. Maybe I sounded a bit mad.
Jeremy said he was going to the lecture room and he’d see us inside. Once inside, the expression on his face told me something was up, so I asked if he was okay.
“Not really,” he said coldly.
“Are you… mad at me?” I asked, jumping the gun. It was a possibility.
“Yes.” He snapped.
“What did I do?”
“I’ll tell you later,” he said, and gestured his hand as if to tell me to get out of his way and sit.
The way he said it was really damn cold. I actually felt like crying then and there, because Jeremy hadn’t ever been so snappish with me.
After the lecture, he just went to the shops. Maybe because I gave him the cold shoulder. I spent some time with Leroy and Wil, and I had a good time alone with Wil, too.
I said to Jeremy two hours later in class, “You don’t have to sit next to me.”
“If I didn’t want to sit here I wouldn’t be here.”
“You’re not going to tell me what’s up.”
“You want me to tell you now with all these people here?”
After class, Leroy said, “Come on Jeremy, what’s up.”
“I need to talk to Audrey alone, so can you go away for a second?”
Fire from the dragon’s mouth.
“I don’t come here early at 8am and wake up at 6:30am for you to go on the computer and return comments. I don’t keep you company because of that. I wanted to talk to you. And I actually had stuff to tell you and I wanted to chat to you. I found it SO RUDE when you just sat there away from me and used the computer. When you didn’t bring your laptop I thought you would be away from the computer but you just went on there AS SOON AS YOU GOT HERE.”
He was so angry. He was furious and I couldn’t look him in the eye to see the expression on his face. I just wanted to cry. I could feel the tears coming up, but I didn’t say anything. I wanted to get angry that he was mad about something so small. I wanted to apologise and just hug and let it pass. I was just so close to tears that in the end my pride just took over because I didn’t want him to see me cry.
“Are you okay?” he asked, genuinely, and I could feel his face no longer that angry…
“If something about me bothered you that much, you could have told me earlier instead of making me wait.”
I walked away. Around the corner, there was Leroy… thank goodness he was there to make me feel better. I felt like shit for doing that. But he was angry over something so small that it hurt more the way he said it, than what he was angry about.
When I got home, Jeremy had sent me an email. He said he didn’t mean for what he said to come out so angrily. I called him up, we talked it over, and we’re okay now. He worried that I was never going to talk to him again. Well, it was a stupid little thing to get angry about. But I’m glad we sorted things out.
Then, problem two. Far out. Wil texted me at night and said that he couldn’t sleep. I don’t even know why… but he just suddenly brought up the subject of Jeremy.
(I told Wil that Jeremy and I kissed. It was a difficult feat, but he’s no longer bothered by it… but he still seems not to like Jeremy. Even after Jeremy apologised to him in person…)
Wil said, “Is there a reason you talk to me so little on MSN? You talk to Jeremy about things in your day and you barely say anything to me.”
I asked if he wanted to chat and talk about it…
“No. I don’t understand his attempts to get your affection or attention, but his instability bothers me. That doesn’t seem to concern you, so I’ll just shut it.”
I don’t know why. It made me really upset. We had a nice time together and suddenly he was being so hostile – Bethany said it was just because he couldn’t sleep, maybe. I just want it to blow over. Why the fuck does everyone I love suddenly go bonkers? I never mean to hurt Wil just because I don’t chat to him much online. I know, maybe I need to stop spending so much time with my websites. Already I feel like I am, and that I’m drifting away from my online hobbies. I enjoy spending time with Wil in person. It just hurts that he is angry over something so trivial, and got so snappy at me like that.
As was Jeremy. Are all males like this? Freaking hell.
